Are You There God? It's Me, Laura

I hated that book. It didn't provide any significant insight into getting your period, particularly since it was published at a time when menstrual supplies included belts and straps and God knows what else.

And yet, I guess that's what brings me here today. God knows ...

For all the ways I tout myself as a good Catholic (well maybe not lately, but traditionally), I've never been very dedicated to prayer. Oh sure, I know them all. I can chime in with the best of them on Sundays at mass.

But prayer--direct communication with God--has never really been my thing.

Maybe I got so used to not talking to anyone growing up, I lumped God in there for good measure.

Funny thing is, I feel like all I do is talk these days, but maybe not to the right people. Therapists, personal trainers, friends, ex-boyfriends. I talk, and yet nothing happens. I'm not getting better. I'm getting worse.

I feel so utterly hopeless all of the time. And I don't know what to do about that. I really don't.

It scares me. I've always been able to pull myself out from under things. Not this time. Not now.

So I need you, God. I need you to show me the way--the way back to myself--the way to a better version of myself. I need you to love me because right now, I don't feel like anyone does. I need your help.

Please help me.

I will do my best to listen.

If only you really did have email ...